The importance of chocolate in my life can be accurately compared to that of water in a fish’s tank. It’s everything. Chocolate is my go-to delicacy in times of celebration and hardship, whether it is stress, gloom, or heartache. Through every breakup, deadline, and existential crisis. And I’ve had many at the ripe age of 23. Chocolate has wrapped its loving arms around me, to whisper sweet nothings into my ear. Nibbles of the sweet treat console me like no other food possibly can, not even french fries, donuts, or the foodie’s green giant, avocado.

Chocolate in My Life

Chocolate bars, cake, cookies, coffee, pizza, beer, and yogurt… if it has chocolate in it, I have most certainly tried it. All have treated me well. But the one I can’t stop running back to, like an ex that you know is no good for you but you continue to drunk dial, is cacao ice cream.

Ice Cream

Quite frankly, ice cream is, more or less, the love of my life. Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food (chocolate ice cream with gooey marshmallow, caramel, and fudge) is a pint of heaven I can eat for the rest of eternity, along with Breyer’s Vanilla Fudge Twirl. Dairy Queen is constantly offering new treats, while New York’s The Choc Room is a paradise in Brooklyn. I love them all equally.

Whenever I’m on the line for chocolate ice cream, as I so often am, I feel legitimate shock when I hear a parent tells their child that he or she can only have one scoop of the divine goodness. What good will one scoop do? Why does the one scoop option even exist?

Give me Ice-cream, or give me Death

Go ahead and judge me. I don’t care. I also don’t care if chocolate turns my face into an acne war zone (damn you, dairy). Okay, so I do care a little bit because adult acne is no fun. But to hell with it, to hell with a face as soft as a baby’s bottom. Who wants that anyway?

If loving you is so wrong, my little cacao bean, then I don’t want to be right.

Chocolate in moderation is, in fact, scientifically good for your health, especially if it’s dark. Cacao contains healthy chemicals like flavonoids and theobromine, which act as antioxidants that benefit your heart, weight, and mood. So, dig in!

Chocolate, I Wish I Knew How to Quit You